The Extraordinarily Ordinary
It’s amazing how much we take for granted until a crisis comes. Then even the smallest things seem to be even more precious. The ordinary can then quickly become extraordinary.
It’s also been fascinating to hear about all of our key workers keeping the country going at a time of crisis, including shop workers, delivery drivers, home care visitors and many others who are often only paid a low or basic wage. But at a time such as this, the ordinary become extraordinary.
It’s also great to see how communities are coming together to care for their neighbours, the elderly and the vulnerable, buying food, medication and various essentials. Small acts of kindness when the ordinary becomes the extraordinary.
Often in life we strive for perfection before taking action with a consequence that we can become paralysed into little or no action at all.
We need to take this as an opportunity to learn again to be grateful for small things.
We need to learn to embrace who we are rather than always striving for excellence
We can be self-accepting without being complacent, but where is the line?
There is contradiction but you can make room for both – striving and self-acceptance.
We could complete a five-minute journal each day with what we are grateful for, not just massive achievements but include and highlight some of the small things – the ordinary things.
Lasting meaningful change has to be driven by self-acceptance in a self-aware way. Don’t be deluded by not accepting you have problems and challenges.
Don’t be high performing but always miserable because you are always striving for perfection.
Narcissism is not really about self-love, it is more about shame based fear.
Be self-aware of our strengths and our weaknesses. Our failures and our successes.
Life is not all about just being more efficient. We all have the need to be seen and known and loved. But we often wear armour. Ask yourself the questions “What am I unwilling to feel. What do I think is unsafe to feel? What is in my Pandora’s Box?”
Things can often get messy before they get clean. Are you living outside that box or in the box?
We all have had trauma and disappointment – and we put on our armour. But eventually that same armour starts to weigh us down and stops us from being the parents, people and professionals that we want to be.
If we choose to take off our armour there might be some pain, but we can replace that with curiosity which motivates us to learn more, be more and to grow. Don’t be afraid of the pain because the potential growth will be worth it.
Let’s not pretend that these things don’t affect us. We are always dealing with the pain even if we don’t admit it – that’s just a coping mechanism we use. The challenge is to face things head on. If we keep our shadows in front of us, we will be more resilient – as they can only take us down if they sneak up on us from behind. There are many tools books therapists and friends can all help you face the pain to get through the challenges, develop and grow.
Can we do a better job at supporting one another? If your partner is facing some particular challenges and can only give 20%, can we find the grace and strength to give the other 80%? And if not, can we jointly come up with a strategy to help us in this particular season by taking less on or asking for additional help from outside?
When together we have less than 100 what can we do to grow the necessary extra patience, kindness, love, perseverance and joy?
So during this different challenge in which we find ourselves, of travelling less and encountering a new order to our schedule, let’s take the opportunity while we can. To be still, to think, to meditate or pray. To find that inner balance and inner resolve. To be more creative. To connect and reconnect.
To let the ordinary become extraordinary again.
